I think I'm supposed to journal this stuff, to get it out in the forefront of my mind, so I can conquer it properly.
I seem to be afraid of failure. Specifically, I built up this image in my head of a wunderkind software developer. But sometimes I have to actually think and troubleshoot and experiment and study to learn something new. I'm sometimes given some tough projects and tough deadlines at work, and I seem to freak out a little. I start thinking things are impossible. I distract myself and procrastinate. I avoid actually attempting to complete my tasks and succeed in my endeavors.
But when I do actually set my mind to getting something done, I usually make lots of progress and feel great. Why is it that I am so afraid I won't succeed that I don't even let myself try?
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